Yellow Stream - A Cancer Diary

Introduction

Lying still,
Breathing in, breathing out,
Healthy cells grow all by themselves.
I am free of cancer!

This Zen poem came to me during my guided imagery session on the day of the Vernal Equinox, 1997. It represents the theme of this document, which is also the title of the hard back and paper bound version of this web site: Healthy Cells Grow All By Themselves. We have to be willing to allow our bodies to heal themselves by paying attention to our healing process, by paying attention to our breathing. We have to live moment by moment.

This document is devoted to cancer patients in general and bladder cancer patients in particular. It traces the symptoms and diagnosis of my bladder cancer from the onset of symptoms to the present day. It is given in diary format so that other sufferers of the disease can make use of my experience in whatever way is beneficial to them. Hopefully, my readers will be inspired to take an active role in their own recovery and be willing to participate in their own healing, rather than being at the mercy of the surgeon's knife. There is a considerable body of evidence that patients who have a positive mental attitude and engage in their own treatment have much better chance of long term survival.

Since my last post, I have served on the Board of Directors of the Marin AIDS Project (MAP) and as a member of the Advisory Committee of the Institute for Health and Healing (IHH). The latter came about as result of Mala and I attending the IHH Pioneering Award in Integrative Medicine event in 2007 which was given to Anna Halprin. There are many stories about my relationship to Anna in the 1997 diary, but this one is especially poignant. We came into the foyer of the room in the hotel in San Francisco where the event was held and Anna was standing there. She took one look at me and said, “Jerome – you’re still alive!” – spoken by a Zen Master! Later that evening, I was invited to join the Advisory Committee.

About a year ago, while listening to Daniel Goleman’s Social Intelligence, I got inspired to form a Mindfulness in Healing Well-being Support Group and obtained permission to use the lobby of the Pine Street Clinic to hold sessions there on Thursday evenings. This, together with MAP, IHH, and Mountain Sangha were my primary efforts to give back to the community. I have since left MAP and the IHH, but my community work continues with Mindfulness in Healing and Mountain Sangha.

My job, still with the Technical Committee, allows me to arrange my work schedule around tennis and I’ve been playing about five days a week for the past seven years. As I explained earlier,

For the past twelve years, I have seen my urologist for follow-up treatment of bladder cancer which I presented with on Superbowl Sunday, 1997. Each year, my cystoscopy results revealed no bladder cancer. That is, until 2010, when the new episode began.

Please select one of the following links to continue:

1997 Cancer Diary
2010 Cancer Diary
Latest Posts

PLEASE NOTE: This material is copyright(c) 1997-2010, by Jerome Freedman, Ph. D. All Rights Reserved. This material will be submitted for publication. This document is meant to be a description of the author's experience and he in no way takes responsibility for the accuracy or completeness of any medical knowledge. The author assumes no responsibility for choices made by any of the readers of this material.

* The Mindfulness in Healing Blog is an up-to-date continuation of Yellow Stream

Please send comments and questions to Jerome Freedman Ph. D.